A Christmas Song I Love

I'm sure you have all heard this song before as it has been re-done by several popular artists. I love this song so much. The words express how I feel, how I just want everything to be OK for even just one day. I know opposition is part of the plan, but it is so hard to see people suffer. I think that we can all help alleviate some of the hurt in the world, even in just a small way, as we strive to be a friend and serve others. Anyway, here are the lyrics. Merry Christmas!

Grown-Up Christmas List

Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee;
I wrote to you
With childhood fantasies.

Well, I'm all grown-up now,
And still need help somehow.
I'm not a child,
But my heart still can dream.

So here's my lifelong wish,
My grown-up christmas list.
Not for myself,
But for a world in need.

No more lives torn apart,
That wars would never start,
And time would heal all hearts.
And everyone would have a friend,
And right would always win,
And love would never end.
This is my grown-up christmas list.

As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree.

Well heaven surely knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul.

No more lives torn apart,
That wars would never start,
And time would heal all hearts.
And everyone would have a friend,
And right would always win,
And love would never end.
This is my grown-up christmas list.

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth?
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth.


No more lives torn apart,
That wars would never start,
And time would heal all hearts.
And everyone would have a friend,
And right would always win,
And love would never end, oh.
This is my grown-up christmas list.

This is my grown-up christmas list.

I Never Thought I Would Say This

I know you all will think I am crazy (especially Melani) but just hear me out. Having a job where you basically do nothing will slowly drive you in sane. I love my job and I am grateful to have a job but I must say, I have way too much time on my hands. I try to be productive but even when I spend hours cleaning, running errands, and doing other such tasks I am still left with a LOT of free time at home and at work. During the weekends I generally stay busy because there is usually something going on but during the week-which is when my days off are- everyone is busy with school and not too much fun happens. I have watched more T.V. in the past 3 months than I have in the last 3 years combined.
During school, I would be gone for 12 hours a day most days. I enjoy being busy and working hard. Of course I would get worn out and count the days till the weekends but I really enjoyed it. I hate how lazy I feel now days, even though I am still really involved with a lot of things. It's just the fact that I have free time at work too and so that is 8 extra hours a day that normal people don't have. I know a lot of you think you would kill for all this extra time but it gets lonely and boring-especially when you don't have a whole lot of other obligations like kids and a family. I guess I can only watch so much TV and do so many projects before I want to go crazy. And now that it is cold I am much less inclined to go outdoors which is what I love to do when I have free time. But before I sound ungrateful and complain-y, let me tell you about my Tuesday shift, which is why I love the days so much more than the nights:

1) I got to work and ate breakfast and read the newspaper while supervising the kids' morning chores.
2) Went on a field trip with the kids to a medical place that took a few hours
3) Came back and did a bit of paperwork
4) Went outside for P.E. and played volleyball, basketball, and soccer
5) We had lunch time which I don't get a break for but I get free food and just supervise the kiddos
6) I typed some paperwork up
7) Hung out with the kids after school before going home

Basically it was a fun day- not stressful like most jobs, but not boring like the night shifts....It was absolutely a great day and this is one reason that I stay at my job-for the contact shifts. If I could have those shifts 5 days a week it would be heaven but sadly there may not be openings for years...

Bored?

If you ever need a good cry, check out this blog- ryandsteph.blogspot.com I stumbled upon it one night (through a friend of a friend) and I was so touched. It is an amazing story and the parents are just so optimistic and hopeful. I know you are all busy and there is a lot to read but seriously check it out.

I am Thankful, Yes I am

In my anticipation of Christmas I did not mean to overlook Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving a lot, and although I cannot be home this year, I am actually very excited I get to work that day. I am thrilled to have a day of work to just hang out with the kids- no school, no community service,no sleeping. If they are well behaved it should be a fun day with food, football, and games. I wanted to post something Thanksgiving-ish but listing all the things I am thankful for would be never ending, and many of those things are quite obvious anyway. So, I am going to write the 5 things I am most grateful for that have happened in the last 5 years, or basically the 5 biggest blessings in my life. The last 5 years have been full of changes as I moved out on my own. And here are the top five blessings that come to mind at this wee hour of the night:

1)Graduating from High School- being able to get an education is such a blessing that we often take for granted. High School was a lot of fun but I don't think I would ever want to relive it... in fact I know I wouldn't.
2) Moving out to school. This is pretty much all encompassing as so many things have come directly from this- my great wards, bishoprics, my old job, roommates, friends, intramurals, a certain boy, getting an education that opened my eyes to the world, learning to be my own person, learning what is really important in life, learning how to survive on as little sleep as possible, etc...
3) All of my nieces and nephews were born within the last 5 years except for one who is a bit older than that, but I am of course including him too and the little one on the way. These little dudes and gals are my most favorite people. They are so cute and I miss them. I pray daily in gratitude for them being in my life.
4) Becoming closer to family, thanks to amazing technology and also moving near a great cousin who takes care of me and makes sure I have a place to spend the holidays.
5) Graduating from college- I really didn't expect to make it. School was harder than I ever dreamed. I was pushed to the limits many-a-times but somehow I was guided through it. I love my major and the job it has led me to.

These are just some of the things that come to mind. I hope everyone has a yummy Thanksgiving and eats everything in site. Seriously don't hold back, or I will come steal your food.

Tradition, Tradition!!

As we all know, the holiday season is swiftly approaching and I thought it would be fun to list some of my family's traditions. I'm sure I will not get them all but here are some that come to mind...beware this is kind of long:

Christmas Countdown Chain: This is one of my favorite traditions and even when I was the only kid at home I made my parents continue this on. We make a countdown chain for December 1st through December 25th with a specific color paper for each person. So instead of the chain being 25 links long it was 7x that. Each person knew their color for that season and had a specific "task" to do each day. The chores were on a rotating pattern. This was a very systematic chain and making it took a lot of brain power...seriously I think my mom was the only one who ever totally understood how to make it. The tasks we did were anything from lighting candles, making a Christmas goodie, wrapping a present, reading a Christmas story, doing service, to moving the star on the countdown calendar. It was a great way to not only countdown the days till Christmas but also to feel the Christmas spirit and get some Holiday tasks accomplished. I sure do miss this!

Candles: As I mentioned above with the lighting candles, we would light candles at dinner time, every day throughout the month. The last night (Christmas Eve) the candles are lit and you have to be in bed and asleep before they burn out or else Santa Claus cannot come. It always stressed me out as a kid trying to fall asleep because I was way too excited! This too had a system as you had to burn just the right amount off of the candles each night to have the perfect amount left for Christmas Eve.

Caroling: We usually go caroling sometime during the month, sometimes on Christmas Eve. We always make up plates of goodies to take. We usually go caroling to the families my parents home/visit teach. We also go to neighbors, less active church members, and widows. It is always a little embarrassing because I don't think we have the best signing voices but it is a fun way to do a little service for others.

The Nativity Story: Every year, like many families we dress up in makeshift costumes of towels and sheets and reenact the nativity story as someone reads from Luke 2. When I was a baby I played baby Jesus but when I got older I always wanted to be Mary or the Angel. My puppy Mollie was the ever faithful sheep for whoever played the sheperd. I also made my parents keep this tradition up even after my brothers were all gone.
We also added another reenactment of the nativity to our tradition ever since my freshman year in seminary when my teacher put on this activity (Bless Sister Sorenson's heart, she died of Cancer a few years ago but was the BEST teacher ever). Anyway, the presentation she did was as follows: You put each piece from a nativity set into a brown paper bag with a number on it (each in a separate bag). In each bag is a story or scripture and a song that corresponds to the character in the bag. After you read your paper, everyone sings the song and you add your nativity piece to the stable. The last piece is baby Jesus and after he is placed in the scene you turn on a light or have a light rigged (flashlights work well) so that it shines directly on the newborn Savior as you sing the final song which I believe is Silent Night. Oh I get the chills just thinking about it.

Gifts: After acting out the nativity we usually were allowed to open one small gift on Christmas Eve. I loved this because I could hardly wait until Christmas Day and this helped me survive the suspense. Also, on Christmas Day, my parents...I mean Santa... always left a few gifts out and unwrapped by the stockings. This was to show that Santa had in all actuality come the night before. It also helped if presents were big because then they didn't have to be wrapped.

Wake-Up Call: I don't know if this is a tradition or what but I always wake up super early from anticipation and wake everyone up to open presents. Even now I cannot stand the excitement. As I have grown older it is not the presents that thrill me as much as the feeling-it is the most wonderful day of all. I just love staying in my jammies all day, sipping hot co-coa to holiday tunes by the fire, and eating delicious food and candy all day. I cannot think of much else to set the mood like that.

These are a few of the main things I remember about Christmas at home. We don't do all of these anymore but try to do as many as we can. It just isn't possible to do the countdown chain when we are all in different states. I love Christmas for many reasons and traditions help make the season what it is. The most important tradition however if remembering the reason we are celebrating in the first place. I love my Savior and am grateful for His humble birth, His perfect life, and His victorious death.

And now I am curious...what traditions do you have?

I Can Take the Heat Mandi

Well I am bored at work and Mandi tagged anybody who can take the heat so I guess I will give it a shot...

8 T.V. shows I like to watch
1. LOST
2. The Office
3. Gangland on the History Channel or any other crime tv show
4. John and Kate Plus 8
5. I'm sad to admit but I enjoy Paris Hilton's My New BFF
6. BASEBALL and other sports
7. Friends
8. The old Classics (Full House, Fresh Prince, etc...)


8 Things that happened yesterday
1. Worked
2. Slept
3. Attempted to clean the bathroom when low and behold...
4. Our water was shut off at my apartment complex so I couldn't finish it or shower for a while
5. Showered at my friend's apartment so I could finally get clean
6. Waited for my friend to try on 9 outfits before deciding what to wear.
7. Went out to dinner with some fabulous friends
8. Played Clue with the same fabulous friends


8 places I like to eat
1. Olive Garden
2. Zupas
3. St. Louis Bread Co. AKA Panera Bread Co.
4. Cafe Rio/Costa Vida
5. Home-as in at my parents house!
6. Open Seasame (It's a Chinese resaurant in Canada)
7. Brick Oven
8. TUCANOS!

8 Things I am looking forward to
1. Thanksgiving
2. Christmas
3. Being in Florida for Christmas, being with my family
4. Someday working normal hours again
5. January 23rd- a very happy day
6. Getting married and having a family some day
7. Some day going to Africa
8. Going on a mission with my husband when I am old

8 Things on my wish list
1. a day job but at a place as fabulous as the one I am at
2. warm weather all year long
3. Go to Africa
4. Go to Bora Bora
5. to live closer to my family
6. to get two new roommates- and no, one of them is not to replace Melani
7. Get married and have a family
8. That selfish/mean/bad people would not exist

In Memory

Well I am a little hesitant to post today because I am not doing so for sympathy. I do however want to post in memory of someone very dear to me, my brother Nathan. Today marks the 11th year anniversary of his death. I choose to use this day to honor and remember the life he had. I am going to list some of my favorite memories. Most of you who read my blog did not know my brother so now you can learn a bit:

1) His favorite hymn was Battle Hymn of the Republic-not sure why but I think it is funny
2) His FHE lessons were always intricate Jeopardy games or practice fire drills. The one I remember most was learning how to use a fire extinguisher to put out fire and standing in my front yard spraying down fires. Who says FHE isn't fun?
3)One Halloween he wore my mom's clothes to school to dress up as a women. Let's just say my parents were slightly embarrassed.
4) He loved Nirvana, and Oasis and to my mom's delight, the Grassroots
5) He played Piano, Guitar, and Alto Sax-one time he left his saxophone in the drive-way while waiting for the bus and my dad backed over it on his way to work. The worst part was Nathan had a concert that day...oops!
6) He taught me how to build/shoot off rockets and shoot guns
7) He worked as a bagger at the local IGA and when he asked my friend's mom if she needed help out to the car she said something (I cant remember what) and he picked up her son and carried him out even though he was my age (10 or 11) and totally capable of walking-he was just a goof
8) When he was little he had to wear a pirate patch because of his lazy eye but he would always take it off when he left the house
9) He, Valerie and I used to play a game called Tornado where we would go out in the ditches and pretend tornados were coming and hide or something, I can't really remember-oh the life of a farm kid
10) He was an engineer and was always building/inventing things-he and my dad built a storage shed in our back yard
11) He was an electrician- he made a doorbell for his room and all sorts of other gizmos. He even helped wire our house after it was built.
12) He probably teased me the most out of my three brothers but also spent the most time with Val and I. He was always hugging on my mom and would sit on my parent's lap from time to time.

Well that is some of the stuff that comes to mind right now. I recently made a similar list in my journal but it has a lot more to it probably.

"We're all of us stars
We're fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see us some day
Just take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out"
-Oasis-