TA:

The following is a paragraph from Paper B that I am rewriting. The major thing I feel like I needed to change about this paper was to focus more on counter-arguments. I mentioned a view of the opposition’s beliefs briefly but did not go into much detail. I also put all of this information in one paragraph which was not good so I am trying to expand the ideas into a couple of separate paragraphs. Here is the paragraph:

Immigration is detrimental for sending countries because it causes what is commonly referred to as the “brain drain.” This is the notion that the majority of foreign nations loose their most educated citizens to universities and careers in America. Immigrants can typically earn more money in the United States than they would if they worked a similar job at home. This is why so many migrants remain in America after college, which is quite unfortunate because some of the most qualified citizens often become disconnected from their native homes. The separation is effected in part by the extreme differences between the cultures of native and foreign people and a desire to be assimilated into American culture, although it is a lengthy process that may take years.

FW

RA:

For this blog I am going to practice one of my ideas for Paper C. I am sort of unsure what to write about because the topic of media is extremely broad. I really want to write something concerning violence in the media because this is something I really am concerned about. However, I worry that this is something that will be hard to argue because it is a point that most may not agree with.

WATCO: violent media on children's behavior?
Enthymeme: Violent media causes children to react violently because the violence encourages and glamorizes violence.
IA:Anything that is violent also encourages and glamorizes violence.
Ethos: This argument can appeal to authority if I use good data and valid sources.
Pathos: I want to appeal somewhat to emotion but I need to be careful not to over do it.
Logos: This should be easy to do.
I will have to do a lot to prove my point because a lot of people believe that violent media is not harmful at all. Violent media is very detrimental and we study the effects in my sociology clases.

FW:

My brother just called me to say that he was called into his bishopric. I think that is so crazy considering the fact that he is only 27. He has always been a good guy but he really has made tremendous progress in the past few years and I am really proud of the changes that he has made and the person he has become. I am really sad I did get to see him over Thanksgiving break but he couldn’t leave work. My break was really fun though and I got to see the rest of my family including my grandparents. My nieces and nephews are my favorite because they are so much fun. I wish I lived closer to them because they change and grow up so fast. I was glad to go home for Thanksgiving because it is not something that I normally get to do. It was hard to come back to school but it’s such a comfort to know that there are only a few weeks left. I just feel so burnt out but I can see the end in sight. I am planning on graduating in August which has intensified my stress because I am excited, nervous, and scared to death. I am only 21 and soon I will be done with college. I cannot believe it. I am hopeful everything will work out for the best though.

TA:

This is a paragraph I decided to write in order to practice doing introductions. I may decide to use it for a paper for my Soc. 450 class.

Centuries ago, marriage between two members of different races would have been virtually unthinkable. Race appears to be one of the biggest dividing factors between any two groups of people. Race has implications for education, career, real estate, and marriage. It has the power decide whether one student is accepted into medical school over another which may be habilitating for some, destructive for others. The idea of race is socially constructed. Scientists from all over the globe have conclusive data that indicates that only .01 percent of DNA is related to race. It is also apparent that there is greater variation within a given race than between two different races. The idea that race has any indication for intelligence, beauty, or ability is a myth which has roots in the African slave trade. Along with the recent efforts being made for the betterment of race relations, there is also a call to examine the underlying issues. The attitude of Americans towards interracial marriage has changed immensely in the last five decades. The Civil Rights Movement drastically helped to transform marriage into an institution that is capable of crossing the stiff boundaries that had previously been outlined.

RA:

I have had some trouble lately trying to decide what to write for my rhetorical analysis blog. As I have been working on my revision of Paper A, I have been trying detach myself from my paper and view it as the audience would. I think that doing a Rhetorical Analysis of it will help me see where there are flaws.
WATCO: standardized testing on children from low income and minority families?
Enthymeme: Standardized testing isolates children from low income and minority families because standardized testing is tailored to white, middle and upper class students.
IA: Whatever is tailored to white, middle and upper class students isolates children from low income and minority families.
Audience: Utah State School Board
Ethos: somewhat, I think that I need to use more concrete examples to support my claims so that I do not sound too opinionated
Pathos: not much emotion, but I don't feel like a lot is needed
Logos: yes logical but better quotes will help illustrate this
S: no, I need to make a few more solid points, there are a lot of holes
T: yes I think so
A: yes but I need to present it in a way that proves it is accurate and is not just my opinion
R: yes but some of the information that I used is not so I will cut it

TA:

The state standardized testing system is flawed in many regards. Standardized tests are often thought to be the fair way to test students, but simply making something the same across the board does not make it fair; especially if it is tailored to a specific group. The test should be used in conjunction with numerous other tests, essays, and projects. America was founded upon principles of equality which imply that all are given the same chance for success in life. However, this is idea can be very deceptive because it is clear that the family you are born into will greatly influence your life chances. It is possible to fight against the odds but is extremely difficult for most. Fair testing in schools will aid in giving every student a more equal opportunity to excel in academics. Testing scores should not be affected by culture, religion, race, or income. They should demonstrate knowledge of facts, not simply illustrate who has an advantage and who has not. The current Utah standardized testing panel urgently needs to make adjustments in order to allow children from disadvantaged families to hope for future success. Standardized testing in general is a credible notion but the implementation of it has gone awry. It is time to improve the standardized testing program to make certain that all children are given the same chance to exhibit their true academic capacities.