TA:

The following is a paragraph from Paper B that I am rewriting. The major thing I feel like I needed to change about this paper was to focus more on counter-arguments. I mentioned a view of the opposition’s beliefs briefly but did not go into much detail. I also put all of this information in one paragraph which was not good so I am trying to expand the ideas into a couple of separate paragraphs. Here is the paragraph:

Immigration is detrimental for sending countries because it causes what is commonly referred to as the “brain drain.” This is the notion that the majority of foreign nations loose their most educated citizens to universities and careers in America. Immigrants can typically earn more money in the United States than they would if they worked a similar job at home. This is why so many migrants remain in America after college, which is quite unfortunate because some of the most qualified citizens often become disconnected from their native homes. The separation is effected in part by the extreme differences between the cultures of native and foreign people and a desire to be assimilated into American culture, although it is a lengthy process that may take years.